A Father's Day
To all the dads out there who are walking their daughters down the aisle remember she will always love you even though she is beginning a new life with someone new her dad will always hold a special place in her heart.
"Happy Father's Day to our part of the world"
How important to you is your step dad? My sister had her step dad walk her part way down the aisle then he dad took over and walked her down the last half of the aisle. My friend did a father daughter dance with her step dad because he is a big part of her life. If your step dad is not that important to you, then having him do a reading or give a toast would be perfect.
The wedding itself can be a big challenge for a dad. The monumental nature of the event can be overwhelming. Coming to the final realization that your daughter will be part of a new life and a new family can be tough. And it is even tougher if you aren't particularly fond of your son-in-law-to-be quite yet. Do try and relax and enjoy.
The tradition of the father giving away his daughter has its underpinnings from the days of betrothals and arranged marriages. Daughters were considered their father's "property: and it was the right of the father to give his child to the groom. In some cultures, the groom "bought" his right to the bride. Thankfully, times and cultures have largely changed, but the tradition continues a symbol that he approves of the marriage. Not every father and daughter will want to have this part of the ceremony, although a father walking his daughter down the aisle is a well accepted and sometimes touching part of the ceremony. Now, it will seem like you, Dad, are putting your daughter literally and figuratively into the arms and care of someone who is barely ready to accept the responsibility. But it is a wonderful gesture of confidence in your new son-in-law, and should be done graciously. If your daughter is getting married this weekend smile be happy and enjoy and do remember that this is the start of her new life with her best friend.
As father of the bride, your role is to support your daughter in every way. Usually, this also means financially! Nowadays, the cost of even the most modest wedding can be astronomical, but times are changing (phew!) and often the family of the bride, the couple themselves and even the groom’s family can contribute to costs. Best advice is to use the list below as a kick off point, and discuss who will pay for (and do) what, as soon as your daughter and her fiancé have set a date.
Traditionally, the bride's family pays for:
•Engagement and wedding press announcements
•The bride's and bridesmaids’ dresses
•Outfits for the mother and father of the bride
•Flowers for the church and reception (groom pays for bouquets and buttonholes)
•Photography/video
•Most of the transport
•Wedding stationery (invitations and orders of service)
•The reception and all its trimmings (usually the big cost)
•Engagement and wedding press announcements
•The bride's and bridesmaids’ dresses
•Outfits for the mother and father of the bride
•Flowers for the church and reception (groom pays for bouquets and buttonholes)
•Photography/video
•Most of the transport
•Wedding stationery (invitations and orders of service)
•The reception and all its trimmings (usually the big cost)
A wise father will set his budget as early as possible and advise the couple as to what he is able, and prepared, to spend. Then there can be no misunderstandings and the couple are able to budget accordingly and decide where their priorities lie.
Most people are only too well aware of the expense involved in a wedding and both sets of parents may wish to share the cost between them. In this case it’s best to make sure you have a good working relationship between you and not try to co-ordinate everything via the bride and groom. Make a list of who’s paying for what to avoid any misunderstandings. You’ll find more useful advice on handling wedding finances in our budget section.
If you’re not doing a 50:50 split, one common solution is that the groom’s family provides the wedding cake and pays for any food at the evening reception.Some parents like to give a sum of money to be spent as the happy couple wish, others prefer to contribute specific items. If you choose the second option, make sure you confer with your daughter -- you don’t want to surprise her with a seven tier pink iced confection of a wedding cake if she’s chosen a burgundy and gold colour scheme.
Words of wisdom: Sensible fathers realise that paying for a part or a whole of their daughter’s wedding means just that; it’s her wedding. If you want a comfortable life, don’t try to influence her choices unless she asks for help or advice.
